Hold me, I'm falling - Monsoon Wedding
I'm kind of massively unhappy right now and dreading the next month of my life... not particularly healthy. Do my best to try and not think about the growing number of things that I just don't want to deal with but it can be oh so difficult at times. Still, have to try, else I wake up completely fucked up, incapable of moving out of fear of my own head. I'm not in a good mood. Oh so sorry, happens. Tomorrow's mother's day and I have to face a mother who won't talk to me, a brother and his wife who don't give a shit for my personal feelings, and my stepfather who's just annoying by breathing. My father is a wreck because he's not comfortable in his own home with my step mother going nuts half the time. My best friend is having an existential crisis and can only talk to me about her fucked up sister and there's nothing I can do to help. The future is daunting and uncertain and I don't know what to do about any of the relationships in my life.
But that's life, right? In perspective, it's not really the end of the world. I just happen to hate it.
This mood will pass, I'll get up and go out in the living room and put everything aside and do what needs to be done.
Thanks so much.
I have a presentation on Northern Ireland on Monday. Now that's all good fucked up business there.
I think my biggest problem is that the little things just don't make me happy any more, they just up and left or something.
I'm just stressed. Rationalize, rationalize, don't let it get to your head or else you may throw up and bring on another fantastic headache, and we can't go on and have that now, can we?